Triggers
Letter to the reader:
This poem explores how emotional triggers shape our reactions and hold power over us. It reflects on the struggle to break free from past wounds, urging self-compassion and growth. Ultimately, it calls us to remember that we are more than our triggers and worthy of love and acceptance.
So personal to you,
So prominent to others.
Triggers that can rule you,
consume you,
dictate your story.
Triggers you wished never came to be,
they shape you,
they direct your behavior.
Reactions said to be resentment and anger,
hiding hurt and fear.
A puppet master fearful of disclosing, showing and giving up such a facade.
Yet do we ever stop the game of chess never entered?
Decisions considered,
sacrifices made all in hopes of saving the queen.
Yet was she not the one pulling at your strings?
Emotions heightened, chains tightened and freedom definitely not enlightened.
Laughter, lightness and open hearted gestures replaced with caution,
hyperawareness and wariness.
Hollywood dresses her in suits, pumps and tight buns.
Uptight,
Wound,
and the curve on her lips never allowing the sound to be laughter.
A spotlight not taken but the song in perfect tune,
A story unshared but the laughter ready to be displayed in comedian halls.
A painting never shown,
or worse paint unpurchased.
How many triggers cause fear so crippling,
the possibility of the world never seeing your true ability to be what you were destined to be simply fade into the shadows?
How many times do we excuse the quirky behaviors,
the egg shells held cautiously for fear of cracks forming.
How many times do we share our own
and are deeply saddened when they are not considered?
How an attitude changes,
a mood ruined,
a relationship destroyed before it forms.
All through triggers formed,
free rent in our minds,
something so long ago destroying the present.
The now.
‘Acting crazy’
when the actions may be in the same color palette
but not in the same hue.
Growth is forever,
improvements inevitable,
ego deflation as ‘the blue book’ says
is necessary for recovery.
Even after 12 steps it is said to repeat,
for step 4 will never be final,
for wrong doings will come and go,
they can be a blip or a blob.
Sponsors,
needed to call you out on misalignment like group leaders alike,
to listen past the words my hurt is saying.
To look through the triggers,
at the intention behind the,
see the desire of love and acceptance to be at the focal point.
Hiding under dust, mud and soot.
Or triggers.
If only the discipline we have with our bodies we could have for our minds.
If only we could treat the great book as we treat our gyms,
our food, our playlists for pump.
To have grace and love for ourselves and know we are more than our triggers,
more than our pain and hurt.
To know we are Worthy.