The Adventure of Staying

Letter to the reader:

It’s easy to get lost in the idea of constantly running, of chasing something just out of reach. But sometimes, the truest growth is found not in the miles we cover, but in the courage to stay. This is for those who are learning that there’s power in stillness, in choosing to be where they are.

Often we look to others 

for our validation, 

for our ‘you look good girl’ 

after a month or two 

of workouts to make the alarm clock, 

‘no’ to desert and that extra cocktail 

all worth it.

Isolative emotions, 

covered by an app.

Or maybe two, 

the other didn't work, 

Let's download another.

Growth, 

not muscular, 

but mental. 

How?

Let's travel, 

see cultures 

& how others live, 

let's meet others 

on their travels, 

& learn about their walk in this life. 

Create memories 

we know will last 

cognitively for 

less than 6 years 

of accurate depiction.

Home for a month? 

Lets go again, 

Another country? 

Yes, of course. 

It is growth 

to experience 

& see how others live.

Work? 

Portable. 

Money? 

Never ending. 

Friends? 

On an app. 

Bag? 

Still packed from the last trip.

‘Posted a picture in:

Thailand, 

Bali, 

Asia, 

England, 

Australia, 

America’

She is so happy. 

She has made it. 

She is successful.

Alone, 

more than most, 

hidden emotions 

covered by Chanel makeup, 

purchased in a line 

through duty free 

awaited her at 

every stop. 

The unknown world 

before her, 

no one beside her. 

Freedom at its finest.

Hotels, 

Villas, 

Room service, 

In-service massages, 

Facials, 

all while looking 

at new treatments available. 

Growth 

or severe independence?

Standing still, 

feet itching, 

flights researched 

only to know 

they will be exiting without her on them.

Alone? 

In the country 

She is so proud to be from? 

The one she felt homesick from 

only to feel homesick 

on the soil she was born onto.

Growth is staying, 

Growth is creating a community, 

not just on an app, 

not just for work purposes 

or to enter backstage 

& create a black book of contacts.

Growth is coffee 

with the girl you worked with 

almost 10 years ago, 

it's messaging your family 

& asking to see them 

after a world of distance 

has come between you.

It's committing to a hairdresser 

& hugging your nail artist. 

It’s finding your own place 

in a society you fled from. 

Come to the cross 

it will cost you everything- 

but darling sweet girl, 

it will be worth it.

Have I paid a cost?

Or have I stepped into a world of color, 

Opportunity 

and relationships 

lasting longer than a week 

on film sets 

or away on islands?

The world of isolation 

and ‘life on my terms’ 

is glamorous on screen, 

& I will try never to lie, 

I do miss the massages 

& daily luxuries. 

But that is the cost 

to my soul feeling alive? 

To walk into a room 

and people knowing my name

and not demanding things of me, 

to take a minute 

to breathe 

and look past the dollar sign, 

investments, 

and other financial gains. 

Spending days with my savior 

and listening to preachers 

through headphones 

and blurry eyes 

as tears fall down 

my face 

and unto my feet 

that have now been anchored 

to the land I was born into. 

Flying and seeing the world -

an adventure.

Staying?

Well that's something

I could never imagine possible.

My future repurposed, 

like the eroding door frame 

now stabilizing the vineyard 

of grapes alongside the orchard 

mother grew. 

For plants are rooted, 

watered 

& nurtured.

Movement of such roots, 

in such soils 

could damage, 

destroy and kill.

Six sixty, 

forget me nots 

and memories 

finally coming back 

onto the screen 

that lights more than a screen, 

but a soul.